In Winter's Shadow by Gillian Bradshaw

Author:Gillian Bradshaw
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9780553298994
Publisher: ROC
Published: 1982-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

I did not see Arthur when he first returned to Camlann and heard what had happened. Gwalchmai and Cei met him at the gates and told him the news. At first he refused to believe it. But when he saw that it was plain and certain, and denied by no one, he ordered everyone to leave him. When they reluctantly obeyed, he turned his horse about and rode away from Camlann at a gallop. He did not return until noon the following day. Then he went to Gwalchmai, still covered with the dust of his riding, and consulted him on the situation and how best to contain it. He then, with Gwalchmai, visited Bedwyr, who was being kept under guard at his own house.

It was Gwalchmai who told me of all this. He had come at once when Gwyn informed him of the discovery, and had said no word of reproach, but instead immediately discussed with me how best to combat Medraut’s allegations of treachery. He and Gwyn continued to visit me over the next week, informing me of events, helping me to plan for them, and bringing me accounts and papers I asked for—for I was determined to leave the affairs of the fortress in good order.

“Did Arthur speak with Bedwyr long?” I asked Gwalchmai anxiously.

The warrior shook his head. “No, Indeed, he hardly spoke at all. He came into the house, and Bedwyr fell on his knees before him and bowed his head. Arthur said only, ‘Tell me what happened, nothing more,’ and Bedwyr said, ‘It was my fault, my lord, and I am most bitterly grieved at it.’ Arthur said, ‘Only the tale.’”

“Was he angry?”

“Not angry. He looked at Bedwyr as though he had never seen him before. I have told you, my lady, how it is: he is like a man coming to himself after a great battle, stunned, knowing neither what he has done or what he will do. Bedwyr knelt before him with his fingers clenching in the dust of the floor, afraid to look up, and my lord Arthur merely watched him as he might watch an animal, trying to understand what it was and what it wished. Then Bedwyr told him that he had seduced you after…after you had made your attempt on my brother’s life, when you were ill and unhappy. He said that he had loved you for a long while before that. And he said that you had often tried to end your relationship, but that he had always pressed you to continue—is it true, my lady?”

“He exaggerates to blame himself. Oh, the time is true, and perhaps the form of things as well, but he twists it to exonerate me.”

Gwalchmai looked at me closely for a minute, then shrugged. “He told Arthur all of this without looking up. He did not look at him until the end. Then he raised his head, and they looked at each other for a long time. Then Bedwyr said, ‘But it was you that she loved.

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